


Death is not the end

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Royai Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: A tragedy at Madame Christmas’ establishment leaves Roy reeling. Riza struggles with how to help him and Roy learns that death is no barrier to a woman who has his best interests at heart.





	Death is not the end

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Day 2 of Royai Week: Mortal/Immortal. This is NOT a creepy or horror fic despite the name. :)
> 
> The title is taken from a Bob Dylan song. Thanks to @ruikosakuragi who I had a great chat with about Roy’s relationship with Chris. Impeccable timing for my fic also.

_And all that you held sacred_

_Falls down and does not mend_

_Just remember that death is not the end_

_\- Bob Dylan, Death is not the end_

 

**Death is not the end**

Madame Christmas' bar was still closed at this early hour, so Roy Mustang went around the back entrance. He rapped his knuckles on the door. Amid calls of "Roy-boy's here", Vanessa had let him. His visits were still irregular enough to cause consternation from the most excitable of the younger girls: Rosemary, Natasha and Lydia. The girls were delighted to see him. He had grown up surrounded by women but he would never be able to understand them. They greeted him with hugs and kissed his cheek. The older girls treated him more like an idiot younger brother, Vanessa included.

The bar was empty, tables clean and ashtrays empty. Roy sat at the bar counter, his head propped up on his elbows.

"Roy-boy's here." One of Chris' longest-serving girls, Madeline, embraced him and sat down beside him, "And we're not even open." She wagged a finger at him.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he whined. "Where's Chris?"

His aunt walked in as if he had just summoned her. 

"It's been a while." She smirked at him from the other side of the bar. "I see you've graced us with your presence."

He chuckled. "I was in the area and I thought where can I get the nicest soup in Amestris?" He turned to the redhead sitting beside him. "Madeline, can I have some of your best soup?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't they feed you at headquarters?"

"Nothing that tastes as good as your food."

She gave him a playful push. "Only because I'm making it anyway."

Roy sighed happily. He should have invited Riza. She could have used some good food. They both had been working all hours over the past two weeks. He took out his pocket watch to check the time.

"Put that away you show off," his aunt groused.

He stuck out his lower lip in a pout but put it away. She just raised an eyebrow. That had never worked even when he was a child.

"How's  _ Elizabeth _ ?"

"She is busy, we're both up to our eyes." He massaged his temple. "I'll tell her you were asking for her."

"Tell her to drop by or better yet bring her around."

Roy pursed his lips. It wasn't that easy when you were in an illegal relationship with your subordinate. She patted his arm, a sympathetic look on her face.  She disappeared out back for a moment before returning with a cup of coffee and put it down on the counter in front of him.

“Thanks!”

She inclined her head. “Hey, Vanessa, you might as well open up.”

Vanessa gave him a smile as she passed him. He swallowed a sip of his coffee, shutting his eyes to savour the taste.

Bang.

He heard a yell and before he could turn a shot rang out. The girls screamed as he reached for his gloves, knocking his coffee all over himself as he did so. The gunman turned and fled. Before Roy could run after the bastard, Vanessa tugged at his arm.

“Roy?” 

Her voice scared him. There was something both urgent and scared in her tone. He turned and he went cold at the sight of his aunt on the floor behind the bar. All thoughts of running after the gunman abandoned him.

“Chris? Chris? Get the fuck up.” She was fine. She had to be fine. Chris Mustang was strong, stronger than anyone he had ever known. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was immortal. He spun out of Vanessa’s grip and went around the bar. Crouching down beside her, he sucked in a breath at seeing the blood blooming on her chest. He dimly heard Madeline calling for an ambulance. 

_ Red, so red.  _

_ Alchemy. Can I? No, my gloves are soaked. And the bullet. Oh, damn, where’s the bullet? _

“Roy-boy.” 

He took her hands and was heartened that she was able to squeeze them back.

“I’m proud of you," she whispered, "I know I don’t say it often enough.”

“No, no, don’t speak.” His chest felt tight seeing the b lood bubble from the corner of her mouth. “Keep your strength. You’re going to need it.”

“An ambulance is on the way.” Madeline knelt on Chris’ other side. “Listen to Roy-boy.”

* * *

  
  
  


Roy really hated hospitals. The sterile smell. The white walls. The fluorescent lighting. Everything about it felt unnatural. He couldn’t get comfortable in this torture device of a chair. But maybe it was the knowledge that his only surviving blood relative was fighting for her life behind the glass doors. He had bullied Vanessa into going home for food. She promised she would return shortly and he promised he would contact her if anything happened. Madeline had offered to deal with the military police and the crying girls leaving Roy free from anything other than this endless waiting. Maybe he would have been better doing something rather than sitting here? He massaged his temples. This was his fault. 

The sound of a door creak had Roy standing. A man in blue scrubs came out, a sombre expression on his face. He recognised the man who had introduced himself as the man would be operating on his aunt.

“I’m really sorry, General, we did the best we could.”

Roy’s body crumbled in on itself.  _ No, No.  _

“She didn’t make it. There was too much damage to her internal organs 

Blood rushed to Roy’s ears and he didn’t hear a single word the doctor said after that. He could see the man’s mouth moving. Time seemed to slow down. Everything felt dreamlike.  

A nurse came over and whispered something to the doctor. 

The doctor’s brow furrowed and he turned back to Roy. “Again, I’m really sorry General. If you need anything you can tell the nurse.” 

The nurse turned to him. “I’m Sophia, General. Do you have somebody here with you? Is there anybody we can get for you, General?”

He shook his head. The motion felt strange and his limbs were heavy. Vanessa would be back soon or maybe Madeline would come. He didn’t notice the nurse look behind him.

“Roy?” There were gentle hands on his shoulder as someone turned him around to face them. It was Riza. “Oh, Roy.”

His eyes widened. Hers looked back full of concern and it hit him all at once.“She’s gone, Riza. She’s really gone.”

She wrapped her arms around him holding him tight. He could hear sobbing and it took him a moment before he realised it was coming from him. 

“Thanks, I’ll take it from here,” he heard Riza say. 

The next thing he knew he was sitting on one of the chairs, her gentle hands moving in soothing circles. 

Her embrace tightened around him. “Oh, Roy, I’m so sorry, I got here as soon as I heard.”

He couldn’t speak as the tears spilt drenching the fabric on the shoulder of her uniform. She placed a soft kiss on his hair. He took in deep gulps of air.

_ Stop crying. Stop crying. _

He shouldn’t be crying here, crying all over her. 

“Oh, Roy,” she whispered, her hand went to the hair on the nape of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

He clung to her. The scent of her was comforting. His Lieutenant. His Riza. His everything. She was here but Chris wasn’t. Chris was gone. Lost because someone wanted to get to him. Lost because he wasn’t fast enough. It was all his fault. 

He shuddered in her arms. “Thank you!” He pulled away, wiped at his tears with his sleeve. “I should have used a handkerchief. I have one in my pocket.”

“Never mind about that,” she said gently and she took his hand. “Will you be okay here for a moment?”

He nodded. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted to hold her hand and never let it go, but he knew there would be paperwork to do. Paperwork. God, how he hated paperwork. She was still talking. What was she saying? He blinked again.   

“Roy?”

He lifted his chin. “Pardon.” He didn't recognise his own voice.

“It’s alright. I’m just going to get you some tea and speak with one of the nurses.”

She was speaking to him like he was a child, not a grown ass man. Again, he nodded dumbly. Her eyes were suspiciously bright. She loved Chris too he reminded himself. She squeezed his hand again before she slipped away. He wanted to tell her he was glad she was here but he couldn’t find the energy or the words. 

* * *

 

  
Chris Mustang killed in a shooting incident. Riza could barely believe it. When she got the call from Madeline saying that she had gone into the theatre and that weak as she was, she was she wanted to make sure that Riza was there. She wished she had not missed the first call. She would have been there to hold Roy’s hand while it was going on. She had been out of the office on her break, wondering where the hell the General had gotten himself to. Why didn’t he call for her? Why did he insist on going through this alone? Now, wasn’t the time to ask.  He needed her, not her questions. She insisted on taking him home and staying with him. She regretted the decision to take him back to his apartment rather than hers when she searched through the almost bare cupboards. She took out some canned soup and put it on to boil. He had mentioned that he hadn’t the time to do the weekly shop but this was even more pathetic than she had expected. 

She glanced at Roy, who was staring into space. Her heart constricted. He had barely spoken a word since the hospital but she knew to be patient. She picked up Roy’s phone and asked the operator to be patched through to Havoc’s apartment. Unlike them, he still lived in military accommodation and asked him to pick up a few supplies. Roy needed food and she needed to be doing something. She hated seeing him like this. Broken. Like when Hughes died. Again, he was blaming himself.

Once the soup was warm enough, she poured them two bowls.  She joined Roy where he was sitting in the couch and handed him one. 

“Eat!” She ordered.

He didn’t even argue just obeyed her without hesitation. Following his lead, she sat and started on her own bowl. She kept glancing over at him. He was looking unseeingly at the wall, his mind miles away. Worry clawed at her chest. 

_ Oh, Roy. _

When he finished the soup, he turned to her. “How did you know? To come to the hospital I mean.”

“Madeline called me,” she said. “According to her, Chris told her to make sure I was there, that you would need someone.” 

“That I would need you.” He sighed deeply. “Even at the end, she was worried about me. The stupid woman should have been worrying about herself.”

She took the soup bowl from him and put both bowls on the coffee table. She took his hands and squeezed them. She rested her head on his shoulder. 

“Roy, you meant the world to her, like you mean the world to me. What’s so wrong in wanting to look after you?”

“It was my fault she died? That gunman-”

Is that what he was thinking, this whole time? Of course, he was. She should have seen it. Told him what Havoc said sooner. 

“Do you know that the gunman was after you for certain?”

A crease formed on his forehead. “I guess not but who else would he be there for?”

“Havoc told me one of the girls recognised him as a repeat customer. Madame Christmas made many memories given her business. It could be any one of them.” She turned his hands around, lifted the palms to her lips and kissed them. “These hands are not responsible for everything.”

He sighed again. “Even if that is the case, I should have been able to do something.”

“What do you think she would say to that?”

“She would tell me to quit blaming myself and get on with things.”

“Well then, you have your answer. We’ll find out more but even if there was a link to you, none of it would have been your fault.”

He sighed. “I wish I could believe that.”

She locked her eyes on his. “Then believe me.” She kissed his cheek. 

When she went to pull away, he pulled her down to him again and smashed his lips against hers and she deepened the kiss. She could feel the desperation and grief. She put everything in the kiss. I love you, it said. I am here for you, it assured. I love you, it swore.

They broke for breath and she leaned her forehead against his.

“Will you stay here with me tonight?” He locked his eyes on hers. “I mean I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Do you even have to ask?”

He brushed his thumb against her cheek. _ “ _ Why does Riza Hawkeye always seem to know exactly what I need?”

“Just like you always have impeccable timing.”

He smiled but it didn’t meet his eyes. “I just want to hold you, make you sure you alive. At least if I have you here, I don’t get lost.”

* * *

 

  
  


The day of the funeral came. Christine Mustang was buried in a quiet ceremony with her friends and family in attendance. Riza had taken his hand and held it while she was being put in the ground and he let her, fraternisation laws bedamned. 

Afterwards, the bar was open to all those who attended. Roy needed a break from the mourners; he didn’t want to shake anyone else’s hand and hear how she would be missed. Technically he owned the bar now but Vanessa and Madeline would continue running the bar and business as Chris had done before them and they would keep the girls into their employ. He found himself wandering the living area. He stopped in front of her bedroom door. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure why he went inside but this was all that was left of Chris Mustang now. He looked around the room, which was plain and spartan. Everything in the room had a function, just like those people that she gathered around her. A little like himself.  

He heard Vanessa’s voice.

“Roy, are you there?”

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” He looked up when she walked in. “I’m not sure what I am doing here.”  _Chris was right, we’re hopeless without her._

She sighed. “There’s a lot of that going around.”

“I wanted to wait until you were alone to give you this,” she continued. She had a large manila envelope in her hand. “I found this in the safe. It has your name on it, there’s something inside.”

He wrinkled his nose and took the envelope. Holding his breath, he opened it and pulled out a letter. 

Vanessa squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Thanks, Nessa,” he said. “If  _ Elizabeth’s _ looking for me, tell her I’ll be out soon.”

There was no point in hiding his relationship with Riza from either Madeline or Vanessa. They were just as on the ball as Chris. He waited for her to leave the room before he unfolded the letter.

_ ****** _

_ Roy,  _

_ if you’re reading this then this means I’ve passed. I’m sorry to have left you behind but living and dying is an inescapable part of being human. _

_ I’ve never been good at words. Not like you. You might be a hell of an actor but you always wore your heart on your sleeve. Just want you to know, you were the best thing to happen to me. I might have fucked up a lot but you never cared, you loved me anyway.  _

_ Now the important part, if you haven’t already proposed to Elizabeth, please take this ring and ask her when the time is right. Just remember I’ll come back and haunt you if you don’t take her as your wife. You fools deserve to be together and to be happy. I never really believed in true love, I’m something of a cynic. But the pair of you turned me into a believer.  _

_ Elizabeth is something special. Don’t fuck it up, Roy. _

_ I love you, kiddo. _

_ Chris  _

******

He smiled sadly, the first proper smile since Chris has passed. His eyes welled up and he blinked away the tears. It wasn’t just Riza that was something else - Chris Mustang was too. He picked up the envelope he had discarded on the bed. His fingers gained purchase on what felt like a box. She said ring, could she mean the ring? He lifted the box out and opened it. And it was. He recognised his mother’s engagement ring. The light glinted off the small sapphire. He remembered playing with it as a kid once with his aunt’s watchful eye on him as he turned it around in the palm of his hand. She had told him it was there for him when he was ready to propose marriage. He had forgotten all about it truth be told. Even now, his aunt was interfering from beyond the grave. He took the ring box and put it in his jacket pocket. 

_ When the time is right… _

He left the bedroom and entered the bar again. Riza was at his side almost immediately. She brushed her hand against his. Their courage had faded since the funeral. She didn’t need to speak to know what she was saying.

_ I’m here. _

He laced his fingers in hers for one dangerous moment. He needed this.

_ Thank you. _

He tapped the ring box in his pocket.

_ I promise, Chris, I’ll make Fuhrer and then I’ll ask her. _

 

**_Fin_ **


End file.
